I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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