I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
