I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
