True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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