I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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