I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
