Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
