i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
