i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
