News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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