I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
