is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize