I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
