And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
