If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
