We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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