i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Who died my cat blue again?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
