Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
