so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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