Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
