i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
