Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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