Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
