I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i think i have herpe
just one?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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