so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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