My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
