Fine. I'll sleep in my office
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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