haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
