Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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