i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize