physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
