Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
