I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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