What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize