I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
