goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
