Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
