Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
