Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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