I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
