we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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