White coat. Heels.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
