i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
