I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I've blown a few things in my day
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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