no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
