I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
