so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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