At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
