I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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