SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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