Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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