I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
