God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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