hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
