he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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