your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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