pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it because I queefed?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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