Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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