who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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