we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
