My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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