to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
