dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
