you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
