Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
