NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
