just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
